The Project I Turned Down

The Margin

‘To be bitter is to attribute intent and personality to the formless, infinite, unchanging and unchangeable void. We drift on a chartless, resistless sea. Let us sing when we can, and forget the rest.’
- H. P. Lovecraft

This week has been all about streamlining. My husband always jokes that I have life-changing epiphanies once every couple of months - moments of clarity where I genuinely feel like I’m seeing things afresh, casting off an old skin, making a positive change - no matter how big or small. (My name also means ‘epiphany’ - isn’t that cool?) It’s the perfect time of year to make positive changes; just as the leaves are shedding their trees, we can remove things from our lives that no longer serve us. I’ve talked all about my latest changes below, including why I’ve just turned down a big project in the name of balance.

This week on the Margin:

• Thoughts On: Saying No and Curating Flow

• What am I working on this week?

• Let’s Try: Inktober

• I’ve won an award!

• Reading Do What You Love, Love What You Do by Holly Tucker

Thoughts On: Saying No and Curating Flow

This afternoon I said no to a big project and it felt glorious. The project was a book, one that would have paid me a decent chunk of money to write about something on the peripheries of my usual topics. I accepted at first and started going back and forth with idea development, but over the weekend I realised I was, once again, biting off way more than I could chew. It’s difficult to turn down work sometimes, especially when good money is involved (a rarity in this industry), but I feel like I’m turning a corner with the way I want to work and this is the first step.

Basically, if I keep saying yes to every project I am offered, my novel and children’s books will never get written because I will never be able to prioritise them over solid, contracted deadlines. Yes, of course there are bills to pay; there is always a balance between work that pays and work that… yays? You know what I mean - the soulful passion projects you think about all the time, the ones you can’t wait to get back to. But at my current pace, not only am I heading for burnout, I’m also not giving myself any time to experiment and have fun. How can I progress as a writer and artist if I’m only creating stuff for other people’s deadlines?

The way I’m imagining it is like a fast-flowing river in need of rewilding. The river is straight and narrow; the water speeds through efficiently but without the warm swirls of life that would naturally gather if there were more bends and shallow banks, more rocky dams, still pools and hidden corners. I need to reshape the river in order to slow it down and diversify the water, embracing the flow but curating it so the river meanders instead of roaring into oblivion. So this afternoon I said no to a big, meaty project, and I’m feeling a huge sense of relief already. Onwards!

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What am I working on this week?

Yes I am still finishing the Ebb and Flow illustrations, and that is pretty much my workload for the week. I need them out of my life, friends.

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Let’s Try: Inktober

If you enjoy a good doodle, you may have heard of the Inktober challenge that’s run every year on Instagram. Every day through October, participants are invited to interpret a simple prompt using some for of ink (or pencil or whatever because it’s fairly flexible and the whole point is just to encourage creativity in any form). The spirit of the thing is to share your creations on Instagram, but you definitely don’t have to. If you want to have a go (October starts this Sunday, wtf?!) I’ve shared some of my favourite past Inktober drawings in the post below. I’m really hoping to get involved this year but I also don’t want to overload myself, so keep an eye on my Instagram if you’re interested to see how I get along. The prompts for this year’s challenge can be found here, and you don’t have to use Instagram to take part.

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I’ve Won an Award!

A couple of weeks ago I found out that I’d won the Elwyn Hartley-Edwards Award from the British Horse Society. Isn’t that lovely? They present it to a writer, broadcaster or publication whose work has helped promote the enjoyment of equestrianism and wider issues within the equine industry. I was nominated because of my latest book The Bridleway: How Horses Shaped the British Landscape, which was published in June with Bloomsbury. I’ve never won anything for my writing so I’m really honoured. We’re off to an awards ceremony at the Newbury Racecourse in November - fingers crossed for champagne!

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Read this: Do What You Love, Love What You Do by Holly Tucker

Described as the ‘small business bible’, this is a great book if you’re in the early stages of creating a small business. It’s pretty basic but full of all the inspiration and motivation you need to get going, especially if you want to sell something I’d call ‘Insta-friendly’ - aka something that’s visually pleasing and easy to market to mainstream audiences. Holly Tucker is the founder of Not on the High Street, so if that’s your vibe this is definitely one for you! One thing I will say: From the way she writes, I don’t personally think Holly has always had a very good work/life balance; I think that’s worth bearing in mind while you read.