My Not-So-Secret Addiction

Field Notes

Apologies for the clickbait title but it isn’t exactly a lie to talk about notebooks as an addiction. That’s right, friends. Notebooks. All my life, like many people, I have kept notebooks. The earliest was a ‘secret diary’ I started at five years old on the day Diana died; I wrote a ‘get well soon’ prayer, back when I still believed in god but hadn’t yet grasped the concept of death. Twenty six years later, I currently have six different notebooks on the go: Rough notes, inspirational notes, garden journal, wellness journal, baby journal and my latest purchase, the lucky subject of this newsletter.

I just really like writing stuff down. I love the way notebooks can hold entire lives within their pages, and I love sitting down and flicking back through them to see how my mind has evolved, all the mundane details I’ve noted, the friendships, relationships, gigs, holidays, cinema trips and favourite foods. The teenage years are seriously cringey but still, I look back in fondness at the pages of self-conscious insecurity, hormone-fuelled confusion and unrequited love we all have to go through.

In my defence, all the notebooks I buy are bought for a specific reason. I hate clutter, so the idea of having loads of existential notebooks hanging around does not fill me with joy. So this week, a new notebook entered the chat with an entirely new purpose, and it’s one I’m really excited to share because it marks the start of a journey on which you might like to join me. I’m usually quick to oblige when it comes to splashing out on expensive notebooks (Papier, take my money), but this one was actually just a WHSmith jobby from their Malmo range, which I love.

The reason I bought it is because I’m going on a retreat. Not a physical retreat in a country farmhouse with silent walks and poetry readings and firepits, because I have young children and responsibilities and that just isn’t suitable at the moment. I guess it’s a retreat of the mind, instead. The truth is that I’ve burnt myself out over the last few months, working on my book and raising the kids against the everyday backdrop of a busy, modern life. So now my deadlines have (almost) been met, I’m giving myself time to pause. Not completely, of course. I have bills to pay, newsletters to send and book projects to start lightly working on. But for the next three months - right up until the end of 2023 - I’m going on a DIY retreat from the comfort of my own home.

So what does that involve?

For the next three months, I’m going to be sifting through all the thoughts swirling around my head, as well as making time to experiment with my work - without pressure or deadlines - and build up my skills in writing and illustration. I have a big list of books I want to read about creative practice, novel structure, that sort of thing; I have online courses I want to complete to do with drawing, mark-making and the basics of writing children’s books; I have local places I want to visit and sketchbook pages I want to fill. I also want to spend some time working out my goals and planning ahead rather than treading water, day by day. And all of it will be documented, safe and snug, in my new notebook: a space curated through a slow and solitary practice, to which the future me can return for guidance, inspiration and ideas.

This time of year marks the end of an old cycle and the beginning of a new one, so what better time to pause, reflect and declutter? I want to be honest with myself about what form of work I want to be doing, how I want to make money, and what kind of mark I want to make on the world. Autumn is the season of letting go and rooting down, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do. If you’d like to join me, I’ll be sharing my journey over on my weekly series the Margin, which is sent out to paid subscribers (there’s a 7-day free trial if you fancy a sneak peek!). I’ll be sharing thoughts on the books I’ve read, illustrations and sketchbook pages, and anything else that emerges over the next few weeks. The aim is to reach the new year with clarity and vision so I can enter 2024 with a spring in my step.

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Something I Made - Squash the Patriarchy Womens Tee

October is here, pumpkins are near! Do you love gender equality? Do you live for spooky season? Celebrate both with this gourd-geous design in organic cotton. Social justice never looked so good. Also available on sweats and totes!

Something I Like - Paper Honeycomb Pumpkin from Hobbycraft

It would appear this newsletter has become pumpkin-themed so here’s another thing I love. If you know me at all, you’ll know I enjoy throwing my money at Hobbycraft any time of year, but when spooky season comes around? Oh god. Of the many, many decorations and crafty items I’ve bought for me the kids to enjoy, this is one of the cutest: A little honeycomb pumpkin in pastel orange - reusable, recyclable and hauntingly understated.

Recipe of the Week - Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Bread

Although some of the giant supermarket varieties can be a bit tasteless, I generally love cooking with pumpkins and squashes. This recipe popped up on my Instagram feed (the algorithm knoweth all) and oh my god, doesn’t it sound delicious all warm and gooey from the oven? I’m definitely going to be trying it now spooky season has blessed us with her presence.