Why I Struggle with Commissions
The Margin
‘A very important thing is not to make up your mind that you are any one thing.’
- Gertrude Stein
Before I go on, I just wanted to give you guys two little updates on my sustainable clothing brand Papaver.
First, Etsy are currently offering £5 off all orders of £25 or above using the code GET5. All my pieces are listed on Etsy so now is a great opportunity to treat yourself if you’ve been eyeing up something from the new collection! The offer ends tomorrow (Sunday 17 Sep).
Secondly, I’ve been tweaking a few things on the back end so that I can reduce my prices slightly. I’m really proud of the fact that Papaver (run through Teemill) is so sustainable and eco-friendly, but as is so often the case, the more you try to make something ethical, the higher the price climbs. A simple way I think about this is that everything in the world has a fixed cost, so if you spend less money on an item, the cost will be covered through other means. A factory could pay less to process its waste, for example, but cutting that cost could lead to more local pollution. This is one of the reasons fast fashion is so cheap.
The way Teemill works is by offering sustainably-made, print-on-demand items where there is very little wastage, but that does mean the individual prices are higher. Behind-the-scenes, they also charge more for things like printing on the back of the garment (which I really like!) so all in all, it’s been a tricky exercise trying to work out prices. Needless to say, I’ve put a lot of love and time into the few designs I’ve released so far, and I, too, have to pay myself a fair wage.
But in moving a couple of things around on the back end and tweaking the garment designs, I have worked out a set of new prices that I think are both fair and affordable. None of the eco-credentials have changed, so I hope this makes it easier for you to update your wardrobe with something funky and fresh for autumn. If you have previously bought anything from Papaver at the old prices, please get in touch and I will refund you the difference - no problemo! I really appreciate all the early support I’ve had and it’s only fair you pay the same as everyone else. Thank you!
Shop Papaver on Etsy and use code GET5 for £5 off any £25 purchase!
This week on the Margin:
Why I Struggle with Commissions
What am I working on this week?
Let’s Try: POSCA paint pens
Watching The Century of the Self by Adam Curtis
Why I Struggle with Commissions
Back in the early days of my career when I was fresh out of my English degree and dreaming of doing something other than teaching or journalism, I picked up my art pencils and started drawing for the first time since college. Once I got back into the swing of things and started sharing pieces online, a few people kindly offered to pay me for commissions, usually wildlife drawings or pet portraits. I completed a few, charging as little as my imposter syndrome would allow, and at one point considered trying to make it as a full time artist working on commissions alone. People love their pets, and I know plenty of pet portrait artists who make a full time living from their work.
But alas, it’s been years since I last agreed to do a commission for someone - and can you guess why? Because it’s just too bloody stressful. When I design something of my own and pop it online to buy in some form, people either buy it or they don’t. They either like it, or they don’t. And that’s lovely! But when I’m trying to draw someone’s dog - as in actually make it look like their dog - oh my lord. The anxiety! Sometimes I manage it, sometimes I don’t. But I realised a while ago that I’m just not very good with the back-and-forth client communication required to be a portrait artist. Even other commissions make me uneasy - kids’ nursery pictures, a wife’s favourite bird, etc. There’s so much pressure when you’re creating something just for one person to enjoy - especially as you have to charge for the time required, and no matter how much that amount is, it always boils down to one big dollop of imposter syndrome.
I’d love to work on this some day and, when I have the time, start offering commissions again, because on the flip side of it all, there’s nothing quite like drawing something for someone who loves what you do and will treasure that piece forever. But if anyone ever asks me for a commission these days, this is the reason I say no. I’ve pursued a creative career because I love making stuff and finding peace in the process, and sometimes you have to recognise your own limits and know what’s best for your own soul.
What am I working on this week?
Quelle surprise, I’m still finishing these Ebb and Flow illustrations so let’s not even talk about it, shall we? This week’s other tasks include:
Working on the illustrations for another author’s book, including some chapter illustrations and a couple of maps, which is new for me! I’m really excited for these - the author has cited Alan Garner as inspiration which is fabulous.
Writing endorsement quotes for two new books - fiction and non-fiction - which I really enjoy doing because it feels LOVELY to be asked. You want my opinion? Little old me? *Blushes*
Let’s Try: POSCA paint pens
I only started using POSCA pens for the first time this year but goodness me, what a fun medium. If you haven’t used them before, you might recognise them as the pens kids use to colour in pebbles? They are permanent, waterproof, water-based paint pens that can be used on almost any surface, from colouring in your shoes to writing on glass. But my favourite thing about them is not only how quick and easy they are to use, but how their limited range of shades invites you to be creative with your use of colour. Earlier in the year, you may remember I started documenting all the wildflowers I saw through spring and early summer using POSCA pens, and I’ve also used them in Ebb and Flow to illustrate pollinator-friendly flowers for each season. I found it a really satisfying challenge to try and match the infinite array of colours found in wildflowers to the tiny selection I had in my pen packet - basically just light green, dark green, light blue, etc. Here’s a sneak peek at one of the E&F illustrations from the autumn chapter:
POSCA pens are a great medium for beginners as they are opaque, which means once a layer has dried you can usually draw over the top to correct any mistakes. They are also quick to use, which is why I tend to take them with me when the kids and I go out for the day. On the minuscule chance I get two minutes free to draw something, these bad boys are great for whipping out and creating bright, colourful sketches in seconds. There are lots of different colours to choose from, but I just stick to the basic 16-pack which has so far suited all my needs.
Watch this: The Century of the Self by Adam Curtis
This is one of those documentaries that could change the way you see the world forever. It certainly did for me! It explores the work of psychoanalysts Sigmund Freud and Anna Freud, and the birth of PR in the twentieth century. In Curtis’ own words: ‘This series is about how those in power have used Freud’s theories to try and control the dangerous crowd in an age of mass democracy.’ It basically helps explain why the world is in such a mess, and how we have devolved into mere ‘consumers’. It’s available to watch free on YouTube using the link above.